In our mind, we see our parents as not only surviving, but thriving. They will always be there to look over us. Yet, the facts belie our imagination: currently 1.6 million Americans reside in Nursing Homes (this excludes Assisted living and other caretaker arrangements). Statistics indicate that in the future, 1 out of 4 Americans will require Nursing Home Care.
Most of don’t plan for the inevitable outcome, until our parents are in a crises state, precipitated by a fall, a minor car accident, a financial scam, a visit to the emergency room, a potential suicide (yes, it’s true; older Americans are more likely to attempt suicide than anyone else). Wouldn’t it have been better to have planned ahead? And, for those readers who are unable to envision their parents in a debilitated state, or requiring additional assistance; they too can plan for the inevitable, knowing of course, it won’t happen to their parents.
The best solution of course, is for your parents to remain in their own homes. But this requires planning. Four areas which must be reviewed and action steps taken when making plans for our parent’s inability to care for them selves include the following:
• Preparing the Home: Most homes are not built with old age in mind. Safety bars are not present in the bathroom or hallways, lighting is inadequate, throw rugs are tossed carelessly around the home waiting for someone to trip or fall. Many other at risk areas exist in the normal home. Even the small pet that Mom and Dad care about so much, and loves them back with an equal ferociousness, can become a safety factor when they get under-foot and our elderly Mom or Dad does not see them until it is too late. Today’s technology with sensor monitors as well as emergency monitors can greatly assist in home preparations which may be required. Anticipating expenses with someone to help in the house with your aging father or mother is a consideration that requires forethought and ingenuity, and can not wait till the last moment.
• Safeguarding their Health and Safety: Working with your parent’s pharmacist to derive a sensible and memory assistive device to taking medications may forestall your parent’s from ever having to go into a home. The number one reason most people have to give up their independence is that medication is poorly managed; either not taken, or doses missed.
Additionally, other areas of concern are your parent’s ability to drive a car, or obtain daily exercise schedules can be problematic. Finally, paper work needs to be in order for Living Wills, Medical Power of Attorney, etc.. One should never leave until there is a crises and then make decisions under duress.
• Protecting their Money: One can’t say too much about this area, as most of us don’t put enough evidence on it, until we require extra cash. Planning ahead will reap many benefits should they ever be needed. Protection from scams, resources which may provide additional cash, and appropriate investments are all areas which need to be explored.
• Maintaining Social Connections: Maintaining or building relationships is critical, especially at a time when the usual friends may be passing away or relocating. Loneliness is the number one reason for contemplating suicide. Being involved is also one way of maintaining a healthy immune system. Many other benefits accrue as a result of having friends or companionship; it’s definitely not an area which can be ignored.
So, what are you waiting for? Get busy, and involve your parents as much as possible in planning for the future. The amount of power and control your parents feel for their own goal-setting, the more cooperative and accommodating they will be: a feat which will benefit the entire family.
Sources
Alliance for Retired Americans, 2002
http://www.flara.org/Complete%20ARA%20Report%20Nursing%20Homes%20.pdf
American Association of Suicidology
http://www.suicidology.org/associations/1045/files/Elderly2004.pdf
Baldauf, S.: US News & World Report, October 5, 2007
http://health.usnews.com/articles/health/2007/11/02/taking-care-of-your-parents-preparing-the-home.html
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