Stages of Grief

Most people have heard of the stages of grieving, and accept the wisdom that one will process through denial-dissociation-isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This was subsequently modified to be denial-dissociation-isolation, yearning, anger, depression and acceptance. The great Kubler-Ross was the creator of the stages of grief, during her work with dying patients. However, no one had ever studied whether these stages actually exist, until Yale researchers looked at the field of bereavement in depth.

Therefore, after almost half a century of accepting the bereavement process of staging, and teaching it to students in medical school; the Kubler-Ross model has now been debunked.

In the Yale study, each stage was evaluated at the following periods:
• one to six months,
• six to 12 months, and
• 12 to 24 months.

Among the findings:
• Within each period, acceptance was greater than disbelief, yearning, anger and depression
• Within each period, yearning was greater than disbelief, anger, and depression
• With each period depression was greater than anger
• Between one and six months following the death of family member or loved one, disbelief and yearning decreased and acceptance increased.
• From six to 12 months and continuing from 12 months to 24 months all negative emotions declined and acceptance increased.
• When the death occurred within six months of a person's terminal diagnosis, grief persisted for longer periods, and there was less acceptance of death at 12 to 24 months.

The above findings should help people working in the healthcare fields to discern what is normal or abnormal grief. Additionally, the de-emphasis on anger as a strong contributor to the grieving process versus acceptance, yearning, or sadness will help to re-focus counseling sessions.